Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
