Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
