If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize