HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
