We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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