Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
