CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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