If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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