Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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