So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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