so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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