Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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