Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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