The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's never too late to be topless.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
