eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
