fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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