I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
