Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
