I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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