All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well I just put wine in my tea
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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