Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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