No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
