so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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