I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
