wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
