READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
