I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
