Church boner. Awkwardddd
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm like, not good at living.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
