what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
