Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
They have beer where we have blood.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
