I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
