Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
