dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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