The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
