I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
