i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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