i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
