About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
