The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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