We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
