I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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