Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
