Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm at about main and main street
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
