okay pat passed out under dana's car
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
