Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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