just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
two words: eviction party
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
