Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
