I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
