If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
