Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She is in my trunk
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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