i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
