In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
