brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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