He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
