We're like a lot better than the average bears
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
